I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
