Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
