I bet he comes in French.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
