Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
