Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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