I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
