he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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