she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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