he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
