before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
