well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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