Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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