We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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