no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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