my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
