508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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