At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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