And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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