I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
