remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
