new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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