I want to have your abortion
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
