Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
