Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
