Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
