He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
