My room smells like vodka and shame
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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