he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize