Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
