If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
