I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
