You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
