so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
