So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
