Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
