Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
