I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
