i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
