Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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