That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
