I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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