I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
