so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
