just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
