lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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