I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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