I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
