just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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