i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My first STD was from a foam party
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
