yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
