I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
