She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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